How do I make you make the wheel in the sky keep on turnin?

Well fuck me Dorothy, I was just sitting here, watching the news and was going to make a joke about how old I am and then was going to reference lyrics to 2 Live Crew's "Me So Horny" in a joke that isn't going to work now, because I was missing a line or two, so when I went to check the lyrics, I didn't realize that I've only known a "Clean" version of the song, not the real lyrics. So, nevermind, my sitting at home watching the news joke ain't gonna work.
Well, I have nothing to say. Nothing to say at all. But you'll notice Margo that that ain't stopping me at all. No siree, some of us like to give it up for the people.
Remember back when Chunks couldn't get "Wheel in the Sky" out of her everloving head, and then I had it in my head forever too - by the way, thanks for sharing the joy, Chunks. Anyway, the song I haven't been able to get out of my head since Saturday is Linda Ronstadt's "How Do I Make You". Yes, you think you don't know the song, but you do. Go download it right now, I'll wait. Recognize it? Well, for some inexplicible reason, it came into my head on Saturday, and then I woke up Sunday singing it too, so then I made a mixed Linda cd, and listened to it on repeat. I forgot how the bitch can sing. Her version of "Tracks of my Tears" rocks the motherfucking casbah. But anyway, back to "How Do I Make You?" I shouldn't be the only one who is repeatedly singing "I like the way you dance and the way you spin, how do I make you spin for me" so, motherfuckers, download the song and join me.
Fuck me Dorothy - watching the news still, and this football player named somebody Everitt in the States broke something or other in this otherwise normal play during the game yesterday, but anyway, he's paralyzed now. Shite almightly.
The good news is that people who take vitamin D are extending their lives and warding off sicknesses. It's big news. I take vitamin D. Whoo hoo, FAME! I'm gonna live forever!
And what the hell is the Prime Minister's big shit fit about Muslim women wearing that shit that covers their faces, when they vote? Like, what, does he think that a sheet over the faces of Muslim women will lead to people pretending they are Ama Samamulama or whatever and voting in the fucking Taliban? Come on, you uptight fuckhead. Throw a Muslim sister a break. We can't all be Albertan studs like you..... hahahahahahahaha! Oh I vomited in my mouth a bit even typing that.
Hey, if they are always wearing the face thing outside, how do they get dates? Or is it a turn on for dudes into these women to do it in Handmaid's Tale fashion, with a blanket over the face? I just don't know...
Oh, Jane Wyman died. Shit, the news is a fucking downer. True, I only remember her from tv's Falcon Crest, and only watched it on Friday nights when I wasn't out and about bordering on alcohol poisoning, but still, it's depressing. She was 93.
And some woman who founded the Body Shop died. Who the fuck can afford to shop there anymore anyway? I'm sorry, but 7 dollars for a fucking tea tree oil bar of soap is robbery.
However, I could use some right now. I've got this zit/ingrown hair on my stomach that is the size of a tit, I kid you not. I was saying to the Mrs. that "Alex" is on a diet and bought a 10 swim pass at the pool for adult swim from 9-10, and I said it was unfortunate that I couldn't go because the kids are never all settled by 9:00, and she replied "and it's also too bad you have that third nipple on your belly so you can't go". Ah, sweet Rachel, God love your nasty tongue.
So, I am now watching the local news, and get this: there is a story from Saskatoon about a teenage girl who said her and her friend were picked up by a group of guys, sexually assaulted, and dumped in the river. So they are looking for the other girl in the river and can't find her and don't say if the story is fake, but even so, this story was after the Canadian COuntry Music Awards ceremony in Regina story, and a couple others. WTF?
OH! On a happier note - my dear Rachel thinks Chunks is the new Phyllis Diller. Ever since she watched the first vlog, she's made comments, like whenever she says fuck she says "tell Chunks I'm swearing like her" and stuff like that. So then tonight we went to watch the new vlog, but that got interupted, so I still haven't seen the whole thing, and then she clicked on the Vagina Monologue and we almost pissed outselves. Bitch is fucking funny. LOL, and we almost showed the inlaws the first vlog because of my and the dog's freaky haircuts. I was going to do a penis monologue in response, but not sure i really have anything to say about old one-eyed Dick that would do Chunks justice. Hmmm, I'll have to think on that one.... maybe I can come up with something.....
Oh, I hate it when I have nothing to say. You guys, I want a list of 5 potential blog topics from each of you, and I just might pick one and go with it. Beats writing about this shit.
And dont' tell me if you cheated and went to watch Dingo, because I can't wait for the possibilities of Big Brother. I love Zack now - dude, you are my hero. But still, too stupid to have used the veto last week..... but let's get Danielle out of there, because her and daddy are the sore-est losers and if I have to hear her say "it sucks" one more time, I'm gonna shit in my pants and wear them for a week, because it will have driven me crazy. But that won't happen, because i had a vision she was leaving. God bless you, God.
I used to work for a Jamaican woman who would say "vidgeon" instead of "vision" and she'd also call breakfast "break-fast" and then would point her finger at you all the time and say something that you couldn't follow and then say "so you see? YOU SEE?" and then laugh and we'd all nod our heads and then debrief after because we would have no clue what she was talking about.
Well. I have nothing to really say as you can see, so I will put you out of your misery and let you go. And you know, the wheel in the sky does indeed keep on turnin', and we really don't know where we'll be tomorrow, but as long as I can figure out how I can make you spin for me, well, it's all good.
xo