Feelin' SASSY!

So, close to the end of another work week. Can I get an amen to that? I am so tired right now (I know I always say that, but I always blog before bed, so what the hell do you expect?). Anyway, I had to comment on Survivor - it was a good one tonight. My blood was boiling that frigging Terry got immunity again, but I had a good laugh that the freaky Courtney finally went home. Like, someone has to stop Terry. My darling wife doesn't have a hate on for him like I do, but as Roxanne so correctly commented, he just brings to mind every jock asshole I've ever known, the kind who are so cocky and win everything. When he won that Yukon, well, it was typical. But next week will prove interesting with the whole betrayal thing.
So it was a funny night tonight, just because my darling children were so damned crabby. They were overtired because today is gymnastics day for the two oldest, and supper time revealed them to be in fine form. We got home, and I was all pumped because it's so freaking gorgeous outside, and because I finally got off my fat ass and back onto the treadmill at noon, so I had energy to burn. I wanted to BBQ and then play in the backyard and go for a walk and whatever. So, I picked up a nice salmon filet and some chicken and was throwing supper together, and Kristen tells me she has to poop. Well, I should have known that it would spell trouble, because she has this thing where she always wants me to sit in the bathroom with her when she poops, and I have to sit on the tub while she talks and talks and poops and poops. Well, I get her on the toilet and then tell her I have to go flip the chicken so it won't burn, but that just completely sets her off. By the time I get back from flipping the meat, she's on the floor and freaking out and screaming and on and on, and doesn't want me in the bathroom. Well, she's hysterical for like 1/2 an hour. Yeah, I know, all my fault - I should be sitting there on poop patrol 24/7, but you know how it goes. Kelly was also all snitty, and I don't know why, but it was so frigging stessful. So, we finally get them eating somehow, but we each have a child on our lap (after the baby was making noise and scared us that she was choking), and Rachel wanted to go to this garage sale she saw in the paper, so we decide to leave the dishes and just go. Well, as soon as we get into the van, it starts raining a bit, so that was just typical.
Well, that brings us to the trip for ice cream. Do you ever do stuff that annoys your spouse/significant other/partner/lover? Well, I do this thing that drives her fucking apeshit. Whenever we take the kids for ice cream, she always asks me to get her a baby cone. I never do, and opt to get her a small cone. Well, tonight was the icing on the cake, because she specifically said "I only want the baby cone, don't get me anything else" but I got her the small cone. I don't even know why I do it, it's just this thing I do, so she told me she'll never have ice cream again. This also brings back the brushetta pizza I bought her from Extreme Pita a while back, which would be lovely except we both hate tomatoes, onions, and brushetta. Indeed, this thing was teeming (or is it teaming? 8 years of studying English, and I don't know how to spell worth a shit) with onions and tomatoes. So I bring it home and she's all "WTF is this?" and I mean, I have no idea what I was thinking. So yeah, it was kinda funny.
Finally, I was reading this blog of one of Chunk's regulars, and the one post left me virtually speechless. Apparently, in the states, you can buy this certain brand of tampons with "sassy comments" on them. Why the hell would you need sassy comments on a tampon? What would it say? What's snappy - something like "shove it up your ass!?" "At least you aren't pregnant?" How does something be sassy and not offensive? Because, believe you me, if I was a woman and had to endure the curse (I can't get a nosebleed without wondering if I'll need a transfusion), well, sassy comments wouldn't make me feel any better. Like, seeing "you go, girlfriend" well, just wouldn't cut the mustard. And while I am not a woman, I do pick up womanly supplies for my woman when she's not pregant or nursing (which isn't often, granted, but still), and I am fine buying some Tampax, but I draw the line on being a man picking up sassy tampons. What would the male equivilent be? Sassy condoms? What would those say - "You really ARE fooling her by buying the XXL box, brother!"? I am sorry, I have no trouble buying condoms either, but sassy ones I couldn't. I don't care if the store knows I am planning on getting lucky, but you don't want to be sassy about it.
Sassy - I like that word. SASSY!
Well, this is degenerating rapidly, so I am going to go snuggle with my Rachel, and promise to never buy her ice cream again unless it's what she wants.
TGIF peeps,
JT
p.s. - anyone tried one of those Tim Horton's breakfast sandwiches yet?
Nothing will beat an A & W bacon n' egger in my mind, but the Tim's thing looks good....